Thursday, February 25, 2010

Something To Confess...

Today I had the precious honor of watching a beautiful, Spirit-saturated memorial service. I have been on my knees for Jenny Bizaillion and the entire Ross family for weeks now. Monday, when I learned of her passing, I was absolutely heartbroken--for David, for Malaya, and for Rick, Beverly, Josh, Jonathan, Kayci and Jennifer. I wanted God to heal Jenny. I wanted God's glory to be manifested in her physical healing. I prayed so hard for it. But, there's a funny thing about following God. It is important to understand that we as His followers may not understand His ways and his reasons for doing things. I certainly do not understand why she had to die so young at 31. I have asked big questions of God. I have wrestled with Him. But the bottom line is I still believe He knows what He is doing and I still believe He is altogether good even when I fail to understand.

Praying so hard for someone does something transformative to you if you allow it to. The Holy Spirit connects you to that person in a very stong way. Even though I didn't personally know Jenny, I had already dreampt of what kind of precious and special person she must have been, she had to be just fabulous. Today's memorial service was a sweet testimony of the cross-formed person Jenny was. It was a good thing I only listened to the service because I was an absolute wreck by the end of it. I will never forget how Jonathan led people to the cross before even one word was spoken and how Josh absolutely left me bawling at how intensely personal and full of tested and authentically proven faith his words were. I know Rick and Beverly are so proud of their three precious children because they are all devotedly following after the heart of Jesus. I will tell you this my friend Karen said it beautifully today. She said, "I don't really have the right words...but just a peek into her and her family's life changed mine." I couldn't say it any better. It is such an honor for me to know and love her brother Josh. He is such a wonderful man of God. I will not ever forget Jenny or the precious mark she left on this world. I want to be celebrated and remembered as Jenny was today. It was absolutely beautiful.

Even when the circumstances don't turn out the way we would like them to, blessed be the name of the Lord. He is worthy of all praise in all seasons. I am a better person for investing prayer into Jenny's battle. Thank you for that, Abba. You are forever good!

1 comment:

Mary Kay said...

I am with you, it is so hard when the very thing we want so badly, is not what God has planned. It does take so much to truly say, GOD"S WILL BE DONE! Though I didn't know Jenny either, I had met her brothers and have been touched deeply by the faith and trust they have showed us all!